The Jewish State: Loved, Feared and Hated or How being a Minority sucks.

I feel many people have a very passionate opinion about Israel. Some positive, some negative. Many people haven't met a Jew, even less an Israeli and even less then that were in Israel, I assume, but many have an opinion. So before we start of this Blog Entry, I want you to let go of any emotions toward this little country. I ask you to stay open minded and human, when you read this. It's not easy. But it's do-able. So give it a try. A few days ago I was in Israel. There were very little tourists, and, B"H, just one alarm. The sun was nice, the beach was beautiful, the food was amazing. While I spent quite some time by myself, since my best friend had to work during the day (poor soul had to work and then entertain me, while dealing with health issues, and still managed to smile, she's a champion and everyone needs a friend like my beloved Renana. If you read this, I love you to the moon and back), I did not feel alone. There were cats and nice people to talk to. I saw all kinds of cultures, but of course, mostly Jews. I have no way to describe this, but with this one word: amazing. Many people have no idea, how hard it is to be a minority. And many never will, or if they do they suddenly get all weird about it. Before you think this sentence is weird, let me explain: I grew up jewish, autistic and trans. I only knew about the first one. As a child, I thought being jewish was normal, since my family was jewish. Until I learned, the hard way, that many people are, in fact, not jewish. Or to put it in their words they were "normal", I was not. I was forced to participate in christian rituals, which sounds not to bad, but when it came to my holidays, I was not alowed to make the whole class celebrate with me. When I didn't understand who the hell Martin was or what ever story the told us, I was name-called and laughed at. My food was called weird (I had to eat potatoe for Pessach and the children were bewildered by the fact I ate potatoe in school.), my traditions were called weird, my history was called "My Grandparents didn't mean to kill you Grandparetns, but actually it was you Grandparents fault. They shouldn't have been jewish." (My Grandparents, B"H, survived the Holocaust, but children don't care about such details). The older I got, the worse it became. People alienated me. They were mad at me for existing, because they felt bad about Austrias History with Jews. So of course, they felt like I was the issue, not the Nazis. I got sexualised for being jewish. I got bullied for being jewish. I got other for being jewish. The older I got, the more I loved my jewishness. I met other jewish people and it became one of the biggest parts, or maybe even the biggest part of my life. When I later came out and got my diagnosis, I didn't really care as much. I love my autistic brain, and I am glad I learned how to deal with everything, so I am not constantly crying, and I love my transitioning body and my new Name. But I do not care about them as much as people make it seem like I should. This is no shade to anyone who celebrates who they are, but I feel people who later become part of a minorty (through diagnosis or coming out or what ever) get the "alienating experience later, and hence they make it a huge thing. I met many people who made their whole life about their sexuality, and while it's fine to do so, they ask society to do so as well, and feel bad, when these wishes aren't met. I am not talking about basic human rights here, I am talking about people who ask random people to celebrate them for coming out as queer, autistic, or whatever. That, my dear friends, is not how this works. As minorities we have the amazing issue of existing on the edge of society, where noone cares about us, but us. No, this is not fair or grate, but we should try for basic human rights first, and then, when we got those, we fight over little things like correct wording and such (yes I said what I said, no wording is not the worst thing that can happen to you, the worst thing would be getting killed. Does bad wording hurt? Yes. But not as much as many people make it be.). I want to use this space as well to say something important: As a queer trans Jew, who is a leftist at heart, I usually feel unsafe in queer and or left spaces. The antisemitism in many of these spaces is wild, and if it weren't for other queer Jews I woul feel terribly alone. Dating is almost impossible, and getting friends as well. And no, if your first thought is "But Antizionism is no Antisemitism", you are wrong on many levels, but the fact that THIS is your first though to when I talk about Antisemitism on the left, means you do not actually want to listen in the first place. And, to be frank, it is people like this, who make queer and left spaces inaccsessible for many Jews. Do better and start listening instead of getting defensive. Now what does all of this have to do with Israel? Simple: It's the only place where I can breathe. I was able to run aroung with my Kippah, wearing my trans/pride pins and noone cared. People talked to me and did not mind me being trans. I was able to pray without any security, the doors stayed open, during prayer, I was able to see cats outside the synagoge. I was able to eat kosher food, noone cared if I asked if the stuff was really kosher, they just handed me the certificate and waited for my order. For almost one whole week I was able to be part of the majority. Coming back was and still is hard. Eating out is a challenge, wearing jewish symbols is scary, I hide my Kippah under a cappy and again, see more security on a jewish celebration then many people see in a year. This is not about Israeli politics, because fuck them, but about being Jewish in the only jewish state in the world. People cry out, that christians and muslims are in a minority in Israel. How many countries are there, where they are the biggest group? People complained to me, how being Non-Jewish in Israel is not easy. Well guess what: This is how Jews feel all around the world, only in Israel we feel like you do in the countries where you are the majority. And now I ask you: If you feel it is terrible to be part of the minority in Israel, why don't you do a better job and help the small groups in the countries that you live?