The Jewish Self-Perception and the World Surrounding Us

Are we, as Jews, letting other people define who we are? How we view ourselves and Israel? Do we need outside validation or understanding? I believe growing up in the diaspora might change how Jews behave to Judaism, let me explain:

Every experience as a Jew is different. Some grow up religious, other secular and some non jewish. Some are surrounded by a huge Jewish communities and some are the only Jews in the surrounding area. In any case, unless we grew up in Israel, we are not part of the majority. Hence, we are surrounded by Non-jewish people and their ideas what Jews and Israel are. This can lead to many warped ideas and trauma. Many of us had experienced at least one weird or terrible moment, with a Non-jew in relation to our judaism or Israel. This gets even worse in times with social media, where people feel like sharing their thoughts to everything, even if they have zero clue about the topic at all. There is not a single day that I am online, watching some jewish creators, and there is not at least one antisemitic or just stupid comment about Judaism and/or Israel. There was a time where I was more on the internet and hence more exposed to these comments and thoughts. This led to my thinking to warp. While yes, antisemitism is on the rise, people still use Jews for their political benefit and being a leftist and jewish is almost impossible at this time, due to many leftist spaces being absolutely terrible towards Jews, it doesn't mean I should have let this define me. I started seeing black and white for a while. Jews were good and most Non-jews were nothing but antisemitic a**holes, with just a few being good people. This is not true and not helpful. I am glad I started distancing myself from everything, and being less online. The less I am on the internet, the more I see how wrong I was. Not every Jew is good, not ever Non-jew is bad. The Israel-Palestine conflict is not black and white, Israel is not perfect but that does not mean it has no right to exist. It is so easy to fall into a mental rabbit hole and get radicalized, in any direction. I see many Jews beeing more and more right wing, because the left treats us Jews so badly, that it feels like we should "switch" sides. But here is the thing: The right is not better. The fact that people try to shmooze with Nazis because they claim they would help us is baffeling. No, people like Trump never cared about Jews or Israel, he just uses us. He showed it time and time again. On the other hand: being Jewish but throwing other Jews and Israelis under the bus won't help you either. If leftist make you hurt other Jews, so you can be part of them, they don't care about you or Jews, they tokenize you. Especially online I see this happen: People see a 30 second video and feel like they understood every conflict ever. They see fotos and believe them. They read a headline, that's catchy and just share it. I don't rememver how often saw a photo or video of Palestine, just to learn later it was from Syria, Iraq or somewhere else (places that deserve way more attention from the left, like wth is the UN and other groups doing to help? Do these people not deserve food and safety?). People use those moments then to promote the "See this is all a big joke" idea. No. War is no joke, and while the way people talk and use the suffering in Palestine is absolutely questionable, this doesn't mean that the children and other civilians there don't deserve help. But also sharing weird data about the IDF, Israelis or in general anything from Al Jazeera and not fact checking is just as stupid. I remember these terrible pictures of two drawn women "talking" and spreading "info" with english speaking people, online, one was asking question like "But isn't Israel like a Democracy" and the other woman was like "No :) In fact blablabla", spreading missinformation and western people ATE THIS SH*T UP, even if the infos made no sense or were obviously fake. I saw many people share these things, some even jewish. They did so, just to fit in and not lose followers (aka money source), even if it ment that other Jews might suffer from this. So: believing every Video, TikTok or Short, without checking for sources, and sharing it, will lead to more people getting radicalized and less safe spaces for discussions and working on peace and acceptance.

And: Changing your political believe systhem just to fit in with others, is never a great idea. If something seems weird and doesn't add up: talk about it. If you feel it's unsafe to do so, it's not a safespace to begin with. But not just politicaly it's easy to let others define us: Non-jews don't want Jews to be religious, because why would we live our thousand of years old cult, that is connected to Israel and it's nature (at the same time many still believe that Jews are "just" a religion, not an ethnoreligion). So many don't celebrate their judaism, until later in life. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to live super orthodox from now on, that's not what I mean (but go off, if you want to!), but being religious is not a bad thing. I met other Jews who mocked me for being more religious, because it was "weird". I am not sure why people feel like mocking others makes them better. If you don't want to eat kosher, be my guest (just not in my aparment), but let me eat my kosher burger in peace. Just because you let other people tell you it was "weird" to not eat pig, doesn't mean you have to pass it on. I've been bullied for being jewish and eating weird food, especially on Pessach, which is why I embrace it even more now. People are not used to seeing Jews anymore, hence they have many questions. I love answering (repsectfull) ones, and letting them try the "super weird kosher Schnitzel", that tastes exactly the same as the non kosher one. I love being more mindfull about what I eat, when to pray and say a Bracha, when I encounter something new in nature or daily life. I accept that Non-jews are weirded out by something new to them, like a more religious Jew, but not when it comes to other Jews. It's ok if you don't want to live that way, but being rude and goyish to me, won't fix your trauma. While it is a little weird, writing this here (and I also fall into this category, so please be critical) but: Also Jews tell other Jews what to do. I saw Influencers (Jewfluencers) who are like "THIS is how to be a REAL Jew." "If you are a REAL Jew, you have to live like ME, otherwise you are a FAKE". Which is weird. Judaism changed a lot since it's origins, and there are many beautiful ways to be a Jew. Some are more religous, others more cultural, but at the end of the day: All are Jews. So this is what I learned and want to do in the future, maybe it inspires you: Stay critical, even about this very text. Think about what Judaism is to you, if noone else had told you what it was, and live your live accordingly. Create spaces that are safe for discussions and peace talks. Love Jews and Non-jews. Don't let other people tell you what you are and where you should stand. Your ancestors fought for you to be here, now do something with it. I don't want to be defined by other people anymore. I don't care if they like Israel or not. I don't need anyones ok to celebrate the WHOLE Jewish calendar and year. If I want to live more like my ancestors, who cares but me. Sure, antisemitism will always be there, and we surely have to fight it. But I refuse to let it define me and my life. After all: nothing beats darkness more then light and joy. Be proud (and loud, if you feel like it), even if it is scary. Because at the end of the day we can proudly say: They tried to erase us, over and over again, and yet here we are. Still standing strong.